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For nine years, my wife and I lived in the city, down a long lane, next to the Quaker meeting I pastored. Our first Halloween, we loaded up on candy, anticipating a horde of pirates, ghosts, and witches. But the lane was dark and spooky and not one kid showed up, so for the next month, we ate mini Snickers for dessert at every meal, even breakfast. Then we moved to a small town, and carloads of urchins mobbed our home at Halloween, swarming our front door like rats on raw meat. After the first hour, we were out of candy and began emptying our cupboard to beat back the mob, doling out squares of baking chocolate, sugar cubes, packets of Sweet’N Low. When we ran out of treats, they began TP’ing our trees, soaping our windows, and igniting paper sacks of manure on our porch. It was wonderfully nostalgic, reminding me of my childhood, and I went to bed happy.
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Thought I’d let my doctor check me, cause I didn’t feel quite right. All those aches and pains annoyed me, and I couldn’t seep at night. He could find no real disorder, but he wouldn’t let it rest. What with Medicare and Blue Cross, it wouldn’t hurt to do some tests! To the hospital he sent me, though I didn’t feel that bad. He arranged for them to give me, every test that could be had. I was fluroscoped and cystoscoped, my aging frame displayed. Strapped upon an ice cold table, while my gizzards were x-rayed. I was checked for worms and parasites, for fungus and the crud. While they pierced me with long needles, taking samples of my blood. Doctors came to check me over, probed and pushed and poked around. An to make sure I was living, they wired me for sound. They have finally concluded; (their results have filled a page) That what I have will some day kill me.
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If there isn’t one already, someone needs to start a seniors’ football league.
Read moreThis item kind of goes along with the above article..
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My favorite story of the week is about a gentlemen named Morris.
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4. A stove is provided for the benefit of the clerical staff. Coal and wood must be kept in the locker. It is recommended that each member of the clerical staff bring four pounds of coal each day during the coal weather.
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Overheard at a recent school reunion…
He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.
Read moreI received the following from one of our readers and really enjoyed the article. It is a list of Paraprosdokians. I must admit I did not know what the word meant until I looked it up in the dictionary. Paraprosdokians: a “paraprosdokian” is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous.
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